


Two Dozen

by brandywine421



Category: Daredevil (TV), Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Advent Calendar Flashfic, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, M/M, Team Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21646651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: Team Red + Superhero hangouts = :DMy bff bought me a Marvel Advent Calendar for a holiday gift and it is SO CUTE.  So I'm going to write a tiny flash!ficfor every tiny door hiding a tiny superhero until I run out of doors.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 67





	1. Day One:  Iron Man

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the fandom tags, this is a Spidey that's old enough to vote AND drink in America. Woot.
> 
> Fast and loose with timelines, set post-Avengers for the MCU, everyone else is just having a good time.

Tony spots the cluster of red when he's doing a lazy loop toward the Tower. JARVIS is still tweaking the landing pad and he never knows if it's repaired enough for him to go in without a final check -DUM-E is a filthy liar and JARVIS loves him like a Stark and gives him enough rope to hang them all.

He's exhausted and definitely isn't up for a fight, but there are three men and they're wearing masks and dressed in red. Comic-Con was weeks before the Event and, well, he should probably check it out.

He lowers himself to the rooftop with the familiar whir and thump. Two unfamiliar thumps make his screen flash with danger as thick batons bounce off his faceplate and return to sender before he can raise his repulsors. " **Hey**!"

"Told you it wasn't made of iron," Spider-Man says from his perch on an AC unit. Wait, has he seriously just dropped into a vigilante meeting?

Daredevil - wow, he isn't so scary silhouetted against a bright sunny skyline, tucks the batons in his red suit. "Not aluminum or tinfoil, I'd need to taste it."

"What's happening here? Is something happening here?" He realizes these three vigilantes in the same place means something is _definitely_ happening.

"Don't get your knickers in a knot, Old Man," Deadpool says, flashing a pair of swords.

Wait, what? "Old Man?"

"Aren't you like, fifty?" Spider-Man asks, his eyes narrowing into slits. Tony wants to know how he makes the mask do that - 

"Dude, are you getting turned on right now? Not cool," Daredevil glares. His eyes don't do anything - but glaring is his superpower - he's hacked the files.

"Science - "

"Oh, Science gets Spidey hard, too but he knows not to think about it on the job - are you on the job? Are picnics against the superhero law now?" Deadpool demands, flailing his arms to protect what looks to be an impressive display of Mexican entrees. 

Tony holds up his hands, making the decision not to engage. He's tired, he's hungry, Pepper's on his ass about going to meetings tomorrow and something about sleep - he doesn't want to fight.

Daredevil tilts his head to the side like a curious deer. "You thought we were fans because of the red?"

"We've been wearing red for ages, like, a year minimum. You want a beer?" Deadpool backs down and slumps to sit on an overturned bucket. Damn, his mask is interactive too - how do they do that with regular fabric?

"I was on my way home and saw the red, thought it might need checking out," Tony says, accepting the beer and a bucket. Might as well hang out with the natives. "Picnic?"

"Broke up some looting out this way, figured we deserved it for having to put on the duds during the day," Deadpool shrugs.

"Yeah, Devil's in Hell's Kitchen and Spidey's got Queens, but I didn't know you were local," Tony asks.

"I needed help, my apartment got smashed when aliens invaded the city," Spider-Man says.

Deadpool nods. "I am the king of home improvements. When they involve threatening landlords, anyway."

He accepts a beer and a chimichanga that JARVIS recognizes from one of his favorite food carts. "I was on my way home, but it was the red that caught my attention. Any reason you're not in civvies?"

"Got permission from the building since we saved a bunch of their stuff," Daredevil says, dropping the growl he was known for into an even baritone.

"Only had to take a few dozen photos with squealing girls," Spider-Man grumbles. "Do you get that, Old Dude?"

"I'm not _fifty_ , I'm not even - "

"Jailbait, seriously, why can't we get any cougars wanting to take pictures with us?" Deadpool asks.

"At least three of them got the pics for their mom, one for their grandpa, you hit a lot of demos," Daredevil reassures him, taking dainty bites of a taco. "Told you just to growl at them."

"Some of us have reputations that don't include growling at strangers," Spider-Man says. "Back me up, Rich Guy."

Tony's beginning to see that he's either too old, or too rich to be hanging out with these guys but damn if he's going to leave without trying one of the burritos. "No such thing as bad press, or getting picnic space," he shrugs.

"Thanks for not letting them nuke the city, I'm already on my last extension for my thesis," Spider-Man groans.

"I keep telling you, there's entirely too much math in it," Deadpool says.

"It's not math, it's science, like porn to those guys," Daredevil corrects.

Deadpool's eyes go wide. "Wow, when you put it like that then I totally get why he can't finish - you just need to learn to type with one hand so - "

"God, I remember why we don't interact when we have time to talk," Spider-Man sighed.

Tony laughs despite himself. "Sounds like my team." God, it sounds crazy to say it out loud.

Daredevil smiles and it's less threatening than the pigeons that are converging on the AC vent. "So the team's a permanent thing?"

"For emergencies only," Tony admits.

"Started that way with us, too, now I have to invite these assholes for holidays," Spider-Man says.

Deadpool nods. "We only celebrate May Fourth, but it counts."

"Never thought of myself as a team player, but it was all hands on deck," he admits.

Daredevil cocks his head, thoughtful. "Yeah, and a little above our skill level."

"Speak for yourself, but I get that the X-Men have me blacklisted for teams indefinitely," Deadpool sighs dramatically.

"Aren't you on, like, six different teams?" Spider-Man asks.

"For the record, I wouldn't join any team that needs government oversight - and has access to nuclear weapons. Watch your back, Stark, those SHIELD guys are - "

Deadpool leans forward. "We're all pretty anti-government around here, but we won't hold it against you. Not with a shiny red suit like yours," he adds, thumping a gauntlet.

Daredevil tilts his head at the sound. "Still can't tell. Might be like Wolverine."

"And we all remember how well your investigation of his metal insides went last time," Spider-Man grins.

"You could just ask," Tony offers.

All three of them scoff. "Where's the fun in that?"


	2. Day Two:  Captain America

"Oh my God, he's drawing you like a French girl, oh my God." Peter shares a glance with Deadpool and barely has a moment to consider - fuck it, he's texting everyone he knows.

"Why are you in my house?" Matt demands, after flinging an alarm clock, a glass and a decorative candle in their general direction. _Ha_ , Devil needs coffee to aim - Peter will remember that.

Steve Fucking Rogers flashes a blinding grin of perfect teeth at them over a giant sketchpad. "Hi."

"Hi," Peter and Wade manage to respond, both raising hands in matching waves of awe.

Wade recovers first and crosses his arms to mimic a disgruntled - parental chaperone? "Captain, I'm disappointed."

Matt raises his head. "Captain what?"

Steve puts a finger to his lips. Oh, so sneaky! And scandalous! Seriously - everyone needs to know about this. "I'm sure I have no idea what you mean. I'm Steve Grant, I met Mr. Murdock last night."

"Mr. Murdock? Is that your kink, _Daddy?"_ Peter snickers.

"Seriously, why are you in my house?" Matt groans.

"He fell in the river, turns out he's not the best swimmer. Not sure what happened to his clothes - but I brought him back, warmed him up," Steve says.

Damn, did Matt lose his whole suit? That's only happened twice.

"Probably needs a bath in bleach from the look of the water, river didn't used to be that - polluted," Steve adds after a beat.

"How exactly did you warm him up?" Wade questions, the lasciviousness clear in his voice if not on his mask.

"I don't even know these people," Matt says, muffled into the pillow.

"Lots of blankets," Steve shrugs, lowering the sketchpad and stretching his impressive - wow, yeah, _impressive_ is a way to put it - biceps and shifting to his feet. "I should be getting back to Brooklyn, it was nice to meet you, Mr. Murdock, I'll call to check in on you later, make sure you stay warm."

"You gave him your number?" Peter boggles. It took months for him to get Matt's number!

"He gave me a card, never know when I'll need a good lawyer," Steve winks - _Winks!_ \- at him. He mumbles something to Matt and pats his shoulder before making his way out of Matt's room in three giant strides.

"Did you - _that_ \- **what**?" Wade stammers.

Peter ignores him and picks up the abandoned sketchpad. He covers his mouth with his hand and Wade snatches it from him.

Steve's a real artist - in Peter's comic-appreciating opinion - and the three frame scene of Daredevil flipping and kicking two thugs in the face, then falling in a dramatic fashion from a pier - complete with squiggly flailing lines for action - and finishing with a shot of him floating in the river with inflatable water-wings decorated with tiny devils.

"Oh my God," Wade and Peter agree in unison. Matt flops his face against the bed so he can cover his head with the pillow.


	3. Day Three:  Thor

"This. Is. Disgusting."

"If by disgusting you mean, _delicious_ , then I agree."

Peter blinks up at the startling blue sky and wonders if this is how the villains he webs up feel before the cops come to get them.

Currently, he's stuck in a puddle of what, according to Wade, is pure Canadian maple syrup. Wade, allegedly, is also purely Canadian and just as sweet - which he has been announcing to everyone that passes the fire escape that he's stuck to.

"God, the sugar high, are we sure you can't die? I'm pretty sure I'm going to kill you later." Matt's faring the best out of the three of them - he has one whole hand free of stickiness but can't get his phone without reaching through a layer of sugary goodness gone rogue.

Iron Man and his A-Squad are still at least six blocks away according to Matt's ears so the rumble of noise - hopefully - means someone will fly over soon. Fly over, not land or else - 

Thor, Flying Hunk of Alien Man-Meat, lands with a thrumming splish - half splash, half-squish - and Peter sighs when - he doesn't move, his superhero landing on one knee with his fist to the ground has successfully stuck him in place.

"Guys, I don't think licking myself free is working," Wade calls.

"What folly is this? I demand - "

Matt twitches at the pause and the sound that follows. "He's licking his hammer, isn't he?"

"Uh, excuse me, Thor, right? Hi, I'm Spider-Man," Peter says, failing to raise a hand to catch his attention.

The pause continues longer than the licking sounds but the alien hero finally responds. "I was told spiders have eight appendages, have you been grievously injured?"

"No, but we're a little stuck. The Avengers are too far away to help, but - " Peter says, hoping the guy can hear him over Wade and Matt's snickers.

"I see. I find myself in a similar predicament. What is the source of this delicious trap we find ourselves in?"

"No idea, but this is maple syrup, it's - "

"Yummy!" Wade calls helpfully.

What is he doing with his life? Will getting his PhD mean he'll find smarter friends? "Can you make it rain?"

"Not sure how throwing money at us is going to help," Wade offers. 

"Water dissolves sugar - it might work," Matt says.

Thor considers it, licks his hammer's handle again before electricity starts rippling through the weapon, clouds swirling dark and furious above him.

Oh God, this is how he dies - electrocuted in a puddle of syrup - Aunt May's going to be so sad - she loves pancakes, she'll have such trauma - 

A final boom of thunder is the only signal for the sudden rainstorm that pelts down, no bolts of lightning or hail, only glorious summer rain - 

"Finally - " Matt groans, freeing himself and yanking Peter to his feet with his clean hand. "So glad you're smarter than you look."

"Hey!" Peter protests but the crash and cry from the sidewalk below reminds them that their third team-member might need assistance.

_"I'm okay!"_

Or not.

Matt and Peter help unstick Thor from the dissolving mess and they walked together to the edge of the roof to look down at Wade untwisting his limbs.

"What a mess. They're going to have such an ant problem," Matt says absently, sniffing the area as if he's looking at the situation with working eyes.

"Ah," Thor remarks. "I would call my brother-in-arms, the Ant-Man, but I fear spiders, even those with only four arms, are their natural predators."

**Author's Note:**

> I'll say up front that I don't know *all* the superheroes behind the tiny doors but I'll do my best to figure them out.


End file.
